“Family Lessons”

“Family Lessons” Response Questions

1.      Are you able to picture the characters in your head? What other character-related details would enable you to “see” the writer’s characters?

I wasn’t really able to visualize the characters.   I feel that if they described the cousin that wanted to go bull riding and described him as macho man that works out all the time, or just a regular sized guy non athletic ect.  I believe describing the character and his personality will help visualize him better.  I also think the character telling the story I didn’t know if it was a boy or girl while reading the story until the end when he said “Ash, I don’t need the kidney anymore the doctors said I am going to be fine”  It was kind of confusing and they could have described it better.

2.      What other characters would you like to see in the story? Are there any characters that you would take out of the story? Why/why not? 

I would like to visualize the cousin that was going to give up his kidney as well.  Kind of gives you an idea of the two main characters in the story and explain how their personalities are. 

3.      Is the plot/action entertaining? What could the writer do to “spice” up the action?

It was entertaining and flowed together, but it was not much detail.  It explained the pain but could have gone more in debt, also when the bull rider Clayton was in his accident and got life flighted, the family you would think would be freaking out more and that maybe it could go more into debt about how they were feeling.

4. Can you picture where the story/action takes place? Why or why not? What else could the writer do to establish the setting of the story? Are there any crucial scenes that are

underdeveloped or completely omitted?

I just assumed that they were somewhere out west, since he went to AZ for bull riding camp, and that the other cousin has horses, but they didn’t mention if they lived out west or somewhere totally different.  So it was hard for me to picture where they were because it didn’t mention really in the reading.  Maybe start with describing the cousins where they grew up together what kind of day week it has been, and get a better idea in that perspective.  I just believe that it was such a tragic accident that the family would be more involved with in the reading. 

5 Does the dialogue in the story seem realistic? What could the writer do to improve the

dialogue? Where would you like to see less/more dialogue?

I believe the dialogue went well that the story flowed and it hit each main point that the reader needed to know.  It could have been more in depth with the family and how Clayton is handling the situation.

6.      What can the writer do to revise this essay and make it better?

Introduce the two cousins and describe them so the reader can get an idea of what they look like and how they act along with their personality.  Maybe mention where the cousin works at.  I also believe that maybe go more in depth with the family and what they were feeling and how they dealt with the accident.