“What I’ve Learned from Men"

May 31, 2011

“What I’ve Learned from Men” Response Questions

1. What is the tone (see definition below) of the opening paragraph? What does the tone of

Ehrenreich’s first paragraph suggest we can expect in the rest of the essay?

Her tone throughout the essay is kind of sarcasim towards men thinking they have it so easy, and throughout the rest of the essay the tone starts to state more confidence like a man.

1.      Ehrenreich contrasts “being tough” and “being ladylike.” What are the attitudes and behaviors that she associates with these opposing ways of being?

When Ehrenreich was at the international conference and she was disgusted with one of the guys she held in her self-esteem and kept her lady like appearance during that conference and acted like a lady she said.  She held everything in when she could have gone off at the man at the conference.  When she is being tough she goes back to how a man is always tough why can’t a woman be tough.  She becomes confident.

2.      According to Ehrenreich, why are women reluctant to exert power?

Ehrenreich thinks it is a man’s job to exert power, like she said when a woman is mad we get aggravated and when a man is mad they punch holes in their desks.  She has always though it’s a mans job and women hold everything back.

4. Why do you think Ehrenreich shares the story of her encounter with the “prestigious

professor” in paragraph 3?

Ehrenreich shares that story, because I believe she is showing her point how woman are scared to stand up for themselves because they always want to be the “nice ones”  well there is a time and place for that but I think she is saying she should have stood up for herself instead of letting him walk all over her self-esteem.

5.Why do you think she “reruns” the scene with the professor to conclude her essay? What does the “do-over” or mulligan allow her to accomplish?

I believe she ruruns the scen, because she wants to be able to stand up for herself.  I think that she reruns it so she knows what she should have done or what she should do if this situation ever occurs again.  She is preparing herself to stick up for herself in the future.

ESSAY

Something I regret that happened last year is missing my first turkey.  I have never been turkey hunting and I decided that is something I wanted to try and become involved with.  So I have shot a shot gun many times, shooting clay pigeons and shooting out in the fields and so on.  I would say I was okay, but maybe not that comfortable at aiming at a small spot.  Well the shot gun I was using the shell that the gun uses has a bunch of bb’s in it  so for example when you are duck hunting it’s a wider spread of bb’s to hit the duck.   So I am working at this point, I am in school, and there is limited time I can actually go hunting and have practice shooting.  So opening day my boyfriend and I head out to the spot to go hunting.  We walk what seems like forever, but finally get to our spot and set the blind up and our decoys and begin to wait.   Six O’clock rolls around and you start begin hearing the turkeys.  So we have been there for about an hour and a half, not to mention we have to get up at least by four A.M. so we can get a draw and get our spot for turkey hunting.  It’s hard to get out of bed that early and it being somewhat chilly in the morning, but you have to be motivated and ready to go or my boyfriend would go without me!  A little before six we see some hens come out no Tom’s, we had seen a couple does walk around, but still no Tom’s.  So we wait, all of a sudden two huge Tom’s come strutting out of the woods.  They are to the right of our blind about 40 yards out.  My boyfriend begins calling them in closer to our blind.  At this point he’s saying get your gun ready.  I am shaking with adrenal out of control and so excited at the same time.  Not only is there just one Tom but two right next to each other which gives us a chance to both get one.  We get out guns ready and at this point they are about 20 to 25 yards next to us.  There is this little bitty tree kind of in my way maybe an inch or two round and I’m nervous as it is and I’m lined up with the turkey, but I was shaking at the same time and my boyfriend whispers are you ready are you ready? So I’m on the turkey but this tree is separating the head and the body from what I am seeing and all I need to aim for is the neck.  So I say yes and we both shoot.  He gets his turkey and I’m looking to see if I get mine and at this point I didn’t and I could have shot at it again not even thinking.  There was so much commotion I was just pumped with adrenal I just sort of paused.  At this point he was so excited and so I was I, but I was so mad and upset I missed it.  It was such a good opportunity and would have been a great memory if we both would have shot them together on opening day.  It was something I have regretted every since.

      If I could have that day over and redo what I missed, I would.  I would start by making time to practice at a target with a turkey on it to get a better feel for the gun, and to get my aim more on point.  Also in the blind I would have made the point clear I wasn’t ready to shoot yet, because of that small tree, instead of being nervous and excited I would have kept my wits so I could concentrate to have a better shot at the turkey.  So this year I have been duck hunting and shot ducks this year and I was confident with my gun and aiming that I was so ready to go turkey hunting this year, but since it flooded where we go was underwater and there wasn’t a place to go.  Also the season isn’t in that long so there wasn’t a chance to go.  I will have more time to practice and get a better aim as I wait for next season!

“Night Walker”

May 27

“Night Walker” Response Questions

1.      Why do you think Staples refers to the woman he encounters in the beginning of his essay as a “victim”?

I believe it’s a way he wants the readers to understand what he has to deal with and what he has to see and it’s not easy to adjusting to.

2.      What, exactly, is his “unwieldy inheritance” mentioned in the second paragraph?

I believe “unwieldy inheritance” is meaning the city and the town that he is now living in, it is describing what it’s going to be like and what he is going to see and have to deal with.

3.      What, exactly, is “the language of fear” (paragraph three)? What examples does Staples give to illustrate this “language”?

“Language of fear” I believe he is talking about what is going on around him and the dark nights and the people that are out it makes him nervous just if someone passes by him, also that it seems no one can trust anyone.  Some examples he uses I grew accustomed to but never comfortable with people who crossed to the other side of the street rather than pass me. Also when he talks about someone passes by and the doors and windows are up and locked.

4.      This piece is sometimes printed under the titles “Just Walk on By: A Black Man Ponders His Power to Alter Public Space” or “Just Walk on By: Black Men and Public Space”; how do these very different titles affect your understanding of Staples’ reason for writing? How would your perception of his purpose for writing this essay change, if given these different titles?

The first title to me sounds like they are completely against blacks.  They are judging them and saying walk on by don’t give them the time or day.  The second title to me just sounds like blacks are entering a public space that the whites are letting happen by just letting them walk by without making contact with them.  If the titles were changed my perception would to me sound like he is just talking about the town in general and the people that are out at night and not just assuming it’s the blacks.

5.      Why do you think whistling selections from Beethoven and Vivaldi seem to make people less afraid of the author

It gives the author a positive side to things.  That even if he does have fear, he can still be positive throughout the reading.  It gives the reader a different side to him.

ESSAY

Dealing with people and the society today people will judge and speak their own mind on how they feel.  Every single person is different and thinks and speaks the way they feel about things.  The situation I can think of someone that is judging me or in a way being fake is my ex boyfriends, ex girlfriend.  Me and my ex boyfriend dated a little over five years and we broke up and it was mutual.  We are still friends and never were against each other.  Well during those five years we have a lot of mutual friends and all still get together and hang out and still friends with his family as well.  My ex got a girlfriend and he told her that me and him are still friends and our friends are friends and she seemed totally fine with it, that’s what my ex said to me.  At this point my friends started going over to my ex’s and then would go out and instead of going to his house with them I would just meet my friends out wherever they went to out of respect.  This point I thought everything was fine.  Well seeing them out she wouldn’t even give me the time or day to say hi, so it made things awkward and made it more awkward with my ex because I wasn’t sure what to do thinking its fine that she doesn’t have a problem with me which she shouldn’t I never did anything to her.  She was the one that kissed him right in front of me at a bar not even a week after we broke up, so in my head I’m thinking she should at least acknowledge me and say hi.  She talked to all my friends and just acted like I wasn’t there.   Time went on and I just gave up.  I started doing my own thing without trying to make plans with my friends and my ex’s friends.

Now it’s the beginning of summer and every year we go to KY Lake for Memorial weekend it has been tradition.  My parents take their boat, my roommate’s parents take their boat and my ex takes his boat down to the lake.  We all pile our friends on and all meet up and have a great time.  At this time my parents took a motorcycle trip instead of going to the lake.  So I went with my roommate and her family.  Also noting that my roommates brother is best friends with my ex so of course we are all going to meet up, they asked me and ask my ex if that was okay, because his girlfriend was with him on this boating trip.  So I am feeling anxious of how this is going to turn out.  We pull up and tie our boat off with my ex.  We all say hello and I catch up with my ex sister and his parents because I haven’t seen them in quite some time and they ask about my family and how things are going.  Still at this time the girlfriend never once looked at me or said hi.  So I am feeling judged and out of place when I thought everything was going to be fine.  Well me and a couple of my friends go to the other side of the boat where no one could see us, because my friend wanted to smoke a cigarette and didn’t want my roommates parents to see at this point my ex and his friend float over not knowing we are on that side of the boat.  So his girlfriend jumps off the front of the boat and sees that we are all talking and then immediately she judges me and I am the victim.  All I did was float to the side with my friends and my ex happened to float over there not even knowing.  So before he could explain what was going on she just went off and pretty much ruined their trip.  She was cussing and mad all around when nothing was going on.  She wouldn’t give me a chance nor look at me so she brought it all upon herself.  Later that night they went back to the cabin and started going off on everyone and my ex’s dad asked her to leave because her behavior wasn’t appropriate.  All this was going on and my friends told me about it I was worried to death it was my entire fault and felt terrible.  Everyone and my ex even told me not to worry you had nothing to do with it she just flipped out and there was no reason for it she knew you were coming and you didn’t do anything wrong. 

Later that week she messaged me and apologized and said it had nothing to do with me.  I thought that was respectful and nice but I still felt bad for the whole situation.  Needless to say they broke up and they haven’t spoken since.  It was quite the adventure feeling judged and thinking I started the whole issue.  Time has passed and Memorial weekend will come again and be different this time.

"On Fire"

“On Fire”

1.      What process does Brown describe?

Brown uses process narrative which is based on storytelling and the steps of events.  He’s describing his work and the steps that he goes through.

2. How is this essay unlike the typical process explanation, presented in strict chronological

order? Why does this departure “fit” his subject matter/occupation?

This essay is different than a typical step by step instruction of the fire fighters job.  He lists events that happens and what kind of tools, uniform, truck, people, he works with.  Stuff he sees on a daily basis.  I believe he chose to do it this way, because each day is different and this explains the whole meaning of his job.

3.In the first paragraph, Brown uses a simile when he says that one of the things a firefighter learns is that they “can burn like a candle.” What other examples of figurative language does he use? How does such language enhance the essay?

“You learn that you are only human flesh, not Superman”,   The way he uses his language in the speech, makes you realize how much goes into his job just in that speech .  He uses descriptive writing in his speech as well explaining each piece on the truck, and explaining his uniform.  The language makes you want to keep reading to know what happens next.  It makes the story more in tense.

4.Throughout his essay, Brown repeatedly uses the second-person pronoun you. Why do you think Brown uses the second-person perspective, instead of the more usual first- (I) or thirdperson (he or she) in his essay? What effect does it have?

I believe he is referring if you were ever in his shoes this is what you would experience, so instead of him using I he uses you, so the reader can get the idea of his work and what’s involved with it.  It has the effect that it makes you want to appreciate the job you have and appreciate the job the firefighters do for us.

5.      What overall impression(s) of firefighting do you think Brown wishes to convey? How is this purpose exemplified in his final paragraph?

I believe the overall impression is Brown wants you to know how well trained his firefighters are and how proud he is knowing each item of the truck and how it works and the test runs.  I believe the purpose of it is to prove to you they are proud of their work and they know it like the back of their hand and they don’t take anything for granted.

Working as a Certified Nursing assistant (C.N.A.), you are continuously busy.  Coming into work day shift, you are not sure how the day is going to pan out.  Some days its fine with no issues, other days it’s rough, to the point where you get so stressed you just want to walk away.

            The first part of the shift you get everyone out of bed and dressed, showered, toileted for breakfast.  Knowing you only have an hour to get close to 26 patients up and dressed, noting they are elders so they move much slower than us and everything they do is much slower like a snail, when you need to be fast paced because you have another resident yelling help or calling on their call light to get up to go to the bathroom.  This job not only takes amounts of patience, but you sometimes don’t get bathroom breaks when you want to take them, lunch breaks or a break in general.  You are constantly on your feet answering call lights and reporting to the nurses it’s hard to get everything done within one eight hour shift.  If night shift doesn’t re-fill the towels, linens, briefs, gloves, soaps, it adds that much more time in the day to get something out of the supply room.  Once the residents are up and have eaten their breakfast and the C.N.A.s have cleaned up the trays we then toilet whoever needs to be toileted and changed, and lay down residents that want to nap, or get them ready for activities.  Between that time there could be a slight break where we try to step out and take a fifteen minute break.  Once we come back we finish up making beds, pass ice water, clean up the rooms and shower and get whoever else there is to get up.  Some residents refuse their showers so it’s difficult when there isn’t much time before lunch and they decide they want their shower ten minutes before the lunch trays come.  Some residents are on a schedule and stick to it, they like to get up and be ready for breakfast, where some residents like to stay in bed and lounge around, which I can’t blame them.  I wouldn’t want to be bothered either.  Once we get caught up we start getting the residents ready for lunch.  Once lunch comes we then set the residents at their tables and serve them lunch.  We help feed residents that can’t feed themselves.  We then chart how much each resident ate and how much they drank during their meals.  We then take them to their rooms, we clean the dining room up and start the process of toileting who needs to be toileted and laying residents down that want to take an afternoon nap.  Then we wait for lights if they need anything, and begin to chart our daily Activities of Daily Living (ADLs).  We chart if they have been showered, toileted how many times, if they are active or passive, if they have chair alarms, bed alarms, cushions in their chairs, if they use a lift and we initial and move on the next residents charting.  Then second shift comes in we do a walk through and they begin their shift and we clock out.

Being a C.N.A. seems stressful, but going throughout the day you get to laugh with the residents, hear their funny comments, give them a candy bar, bring them a slice of pizza when we our administration gets us food, get them a coke, or simply buy them a burger while on your lunch break.  This job can be stressful, but while you are doing the job you can’t help but laugh, and keep a smile on your face.  The residents are so thankful for the work you put in for them.  Working with them on a daily basis you get to learn their routine and you get to know their history and hear stories of them growing up where they work. You see them light up when they see a resident that is new in the same nursing home they are in that they went to high school with.  They can’t wait to tell you.  You get them the news paper every morning and watch a clip with them on TV.  The job isn’t as bad as one thinks it would be.  It’s an awarding job and you grow close to you patient and you only want the best for them.

"Conked"

“My First Conk” Response Questions may 25

1.      Why did Malcolm X want to get his hair conked? What did the conk symbolize to him at the time he got it? What does it symbolize at the time he writes about it?

He wanted to get his hair conked, because that was the fashion that people had.  It represented the whites and they wanted their hair to look straight like how the white men were wearing their hair.   Once he writes about it he realizes its degrading to have to change their hair to look like a white man and that the whites seem more superior as the blacks seem more inferior and he doesn’t believe it should be like that, but more equal to one another and it shouldn’t matter how your hair looks, and God created all bodies and they shouldn’t have to look a certain way, such as white standards. 

2. Why do you think Malcolm X write this selection as a process explanation instead of a set of instructions?

He wrote it as a process, because process is the way to comprehend the story and see the way the story is carried out rather then steps of the way he conked his hair.  He went through the process of what happened and he went in order so the reader could get an understanding what he went through.

3. Why do you think Malcolm X includes so many references to the pain and discomfort he

endures as part of the process?

Malcolm X is trying to give the reader the idea of the pain he went through and not only the pain but the processes of getting his hair conked just because it was the popular thing to do.  When he’s writing about it he realizes that it wasn’t worth all the pain and burning just to look like someone because that was the thing to do.

4.      In the last paragraph, Malcolm X encloses several words in quotation marks. Why do you think he does this? What is the effect of these quotation marks?

I believe he puts quotations around certain words so the reader can focus on those words and get a true meaning of what he was going through.  It also gives an effect to the story helps catch the readers attention.

5. The Autobiography of Malcolm X was published in 1964, when many African Americans

regularly straightened their hair. Is his message/thesis still relevant today? Are there any current trends or practices that you would consider a contemporary equivalent of conking?

I don’t believe that there is any equivalent conking, people go with their own styles.  Although maybe in the service would be everyone has short/buzzed hair that would be the only thing close to conking, everyone else I believes does what makes them feel most comfortable and have no pressure within conking their hair.

ESSAY

Going from high school to college you see things about yourself that changes compared to when you were in high school.  Growing up and realizing your metabolism isn’t like it was in high school and not being as active you notice change, it’s like a break between high school and college.  Looking back to soccer conditioning and tryouts every summer, realizing what I went through to now trying to stay in shape on my own time, time changes you and makes you realize what you went through to get where you are today.

I remember the four years in high school we had soccer conditioning every summer from six to eight in the evening a few times during the week.  It wasn’t mandatory, but it was frowned upon if you didn’t show up.  We would have to run what’s called the 9:30 it was a cross country course that was one mile and ¾ quarters long.  If we didn’t make it the first time we had to run it again in 11:30.  It was a “rough” course out in a grass field with hills.  Then we would have some other sprints and running then eventually get ball work in.  We did this all summer long and it’s something we strived for.  Once soccer tryouts finally came around we would have pure running from six to eight in the morning, then the 9:30 run again, then after the run we worked with the ball.  This lasted for five days straight.  At the time it was horrible feeling, the heat wore you out and it was a rough week and it was summer on top of that.  Senior year came and soccer season came and gone and then graduation.  That summer of 2006 was the first free summer in four years.  I enjoyed it and loved every bit of it up until college started.  I began to get my “freshman fifteen” everyone talks about and realized that it was great not having to condition a few times a week and deal with the heat, but in the long run it was actually keeping us in shape all summer long.  Once the “freshman fifteen” started I realized I had to start working out, because I was having too much fun and it started to show, it was something I wasn’t used to.  My metabolism had slowed way down.  I could tell in pictures and the way my clothes fit.

Looking back now seeing pictures and seeing the way my style has changed from high school to college and seeing how I thought soccer conditioning was terrible, but in the end it was a great benefit that paid off.  It keeps me motivated today to run, work out and stay active.  The times have changed and the styles have changed as well.  Looking back you think why did I work so hard for four summers straight and strive to make that run, and why did I wear what I wore that summer I graduated high school.  I believe things change as well stay the same, but as society is today people try to stay with the fashion and keep up to date.  People look back and say why did I wear that?  But it was up to date then it just goes to show times moving and things change.  Although, I have changed my style from what I use to wear to more with what’s popular and what I feel comfortable in, but at the end of the day I still wear some of the same old soccer T-shirts and realize it has shaped me and that time will move on, but memories will stay the same.

“Family Lessons”

“Family Lessons” Response Questions

1.      Are you able to picture the characters in your head? What other character-related details would enable you to “see” the writer’s characters?

I wasn’t really able to visualize the characters.   I feel that if they described the cousin that wanted to go bull riding and described him as macho man that works out all the time, or just a regular sized guy non athletic ect.  I believe describing the character and his personality will help visualize him better.  I also think the character telling the story I didn’t know if it was a boy or girl while reading the story until the end when he said “Ash, I don’t need the kidney anymore the doctors said I am going to be fine”  It was kind of confusing and they could have described it better.

2.      What other characters would you like to see in the story? Are there any characters that you would take out of the story? Why/why not? 

I would like to visualize the cousin that was going to give up his kidney as well.  Kind of gives you an idea of the two main characters in the story and explain how their personalities are. 

3.      Is the plot/action entertaining? What could the writer do to “spice” up the action?

It was entertaining and flowed together, but it was not much detail.  It explained the pain but could have gone more in debt, also when the bull rider Clayton was in his accident and got life flighted, the family you would think would be freaking out more and that maybe it could go more into debt about how they were feeling.

4. Can you picture where the story/action takes place? Why or why not? What else could the writer do to establish the setting of the story? Are there any crucial scenes that are

underdeveloped or completely omitted?

I just assumed that they were somewhere out west, since he went to AZ for bull riding camp, and that the other cousin has horses, but they didn’t mention if they lived out west or somewhere totally different.  So it was hard for me to picture where they were because it didn’t mention really in the reading.  Maybe start with describing the cousins where they grew up together what kind of day week it has been, and get a better idea in that perspective.  I just believe that it was such a tragic accident that the family would be more involved with in the reading. 

5 Does the dialogue in the story seem realistic? What could the writer do to improve the

dialogue? Where would you like to see less/more dialogue?

I believe the dialogue went well that the story flowed and it hit each main point that the reader needed to know.  It could have been more in depth with the family and how Clayton is handling the situation.

6.      What can the writer do to revise this essay and make it better?

Introduce the two cousins and describe them so the reader can get an idea of what they look like and how they act along with their personality.  Maybe mention where the cousin works at.  I also believe that maybe go more in depth with the family and what they were feeling and how they dealt with the accident.

Catfish blog B. Salter

Writer’s Name:  B. Salter

Reader’s Name:  Kendle McCullough

1.     Is the introductory paragraph engaging?  Why or why not? What does the writer give you to make you want to continue reading?

Yes, he explains that the main topic is something to do with honey suckles. 

2. Is the point or purpose of the description clear?  Can you find a sentence (or two) that reveals the writer’s reason for writing this descriptive essay?  If the thesis is explicitly stated, copy and paste it below…if the thesis is inferred, type what you believe to be the writer’s thesis below:

Thesis:  I have only eaten honey suckle once in my lifetime, and it was definitely the last.

2.     Do individual paragraphs seem well detailed?  What suggestions would you make about adding specific details?  What else would you like to know?

I believe the writer has great detail and explains what is going on, and explains the hot day that it is.  Keeps the detail throughout the reading.

a.     Where would you like the writer add more visual detail?

When explaining the honey suckles maybe explain how many plants there were what was around the plants woods, or just the playground.

b.     Where would you like the writer add more sound detail?

When you mom took you to the grocery store, and you were starving maybe explain your stomach was growling or maybe sound in that way.

c.      Where would you like the writer add more smell detail?

You did a good job explaining the smells, and with the green vomit, and the honey suckles. 

d.     Where would you like the writer add more taste detail?

Explaining the taste of the honey suckle was good, maybe explain more taste to  what the sweetness taste compared to, sweet like syrup, sugar, in that direction.

e.      Where would you like the writer add more feel or touch details?

Explaining the flower part of the honey suckle and give a vivid detail.

4. Do all of the paragraphs contribute to the development of the essay’s thesis?  Is it clear to you how each of the paragraphs relate to the description or observation the writer is providing?  Why/why not?   Indicate the paragraph(s) that don’t seem to fit the focus of the essay below:

          All the paragraphs don’t go with the thesis, but the writer worked it into the essay.  For example explaining going to dinner with your uncle, and mentioning going to the grocery store and getting Chinese.  Maybe just mention running errands with you mom and rembering starving and she got me Chinese the went to the park and realized it was a bad idea..then lead into the honey suckles.  I believe leaving out the grocery store part, will help focus more on the honey suckle part of the reading.

5. Would the essay improve if the paragraphs were arranged differently?  Do the main ideas seem logically organized (using chronological or least-to-most-important or spatial order, for example)? Why/why not?  Note the paragraph(s) that seems out of order below:

I believe working up to the main point of the story the paragraphs go together.  He introduces his uncle, and explains why he’s at the park and how he got introduced to eating a honey suckle.  I don’t think anything is out of order. 

6. Are the paragraphs connected to one another smoothly and logically?  Are there transitions between paragraphs that help you understand how the writer’s ideas are connected?  Let the writer know which paragraphs need transitions.  What could the writer do to make the connection between the main ideas expressed in the individual paragraphs and the thesis clearer?

When reading it, maybe mention at the beginning when explaining your uncle talk about how he doesn’t have any kids so it should be a good experience for him and letting me sleep over, instead at the end of the story after you vomited and explaining he doesn’t have kids, because then it gives the reader the idea and lets us think uh oh since he got sick and his uncle doesn’t deal much with kids we see and get the idea that he might be upset.

7. Write a summary comment that explains what you like best about the paper.  Then, describe the two features of the paper that most need improvement.  What suggestion(s) for overcoming these problems do you have?

Overall is it is a well written essay.  I believe that you used great description that gave us ideas that we can vision in our heads.  The part that I would work on is maybe talking more about your uncle and what kind of guy and work he does so we get a better idea of him and name some of his hobbies.  Also maybe revise going to the grocery with you mom and getting Chinese then going to the park, keep that part simple and explain killing time waiting on your uncle so you and your mom ran errands and ended up at the park for a bit.  I believe the paper gets the point across and keeps us wondering what the final outcome of the paper is going to be.

Laura McCurdy, ground zero editing questions

Writer’s Name:  Laura McCurdy

Reader’s Name:  Kendle McCullough

1.     Is the introductory paragraph engaging?  Why or why not? What does the writer give you to make you want to continue reading?

The introduction caught my attention, but instead of going right into what happened maybe start with summertime and hanging out with friends, and leading into the tragedy as a thesis sentence, because that is what the reader is going to focus on.

2. Is the point or purpose of the description clear?  Can you find a sentence (or two) that reveals the writer’s reason for writing this descriptive essay?  If the thesis is explicitly stated, copy and paste it below…if the thesis is inferred, type what you believe to be the writer’s thesis below:

Thesis:  Summertime and hanging with friends is something to always look forward to, but when losing a friend and witnessing the scene summer will never be the same.

3. Do individual paragraphs seem well detailed?  What suggestions would you make about adding specific details?  What else would you like to know?

a.     Where would you like the writer add more visual detail?

The writer did a good job explaining detail and what sand, water, cans lying around, and a volleyball net.  Maybe explain the hot weather, if the water was rough that day and if the sun was beaming.

b.     Where would you like the writer add more sound detail?

At the end of the story in the conclusion you mentioned watching the barge go by, maybe describe the sound of the barge and if there were other boats around or if it was quiet moment, just go more in debt with it.

c.      Where would you like the writer add more smell detail?

You could describe the hot day, and maybe the smell of summertime when explaining what you were doing that day, boating mention it was a nice hot day not a cloud in the sky, but being on the river and the smell of summertime and suntan lotion, or mention a fishy smell from the river.

d.     Where would you like the writer add more taste detail?

Also describing it being so hot on a summer day you could add in cold drinks and quenching your thirst.

e.      Where would you like the writer add more feel or touch details?

When describing tubing and couldn’t hold on anymore, good detail but maybe say our wet slippery hands couldn’t hold on the handles our hands felt numb, also maybe at the end when you were talking about the sand, you could mention the warm sand sitting under us digging our feet into it while watching the barge pass by.

4. Do all of the paragraphs contribute to the development of the essay’s thesis?  Is it clear to you how each of the paragraphs relate to the description or observation the writer is providing?  Why/why not?   Indicate the paragraph(s) that don’t seem to fit the focus of the essay below:

          The paragraphs all went together when describing your story. 

5. Would the essay improve if the paragraphs were arranged differently?  Do the main ideas seem logically organized (using chronological or least-to-most-important or spatial order, for example)? Why/why not?  Note the paragraph(s) that seems out of order below:

Maybe leave out the part Brandon kept his jet ski.  I believe it’s not something to focus on within the reading.  That the main story is clear and focus on the main tragedy.

6. Are the paragraphs connected to one another smoothly and logically?  Are there transitions between paragraphs that help you understand how the writer’s ideas are connected?  Let the writer know which paragraphs need transitions.  What could the writer do to make the connection between the main ideas expressed in the individual paragraphs and the thesis clearer?

I believe making a main thesis will be easy since the paragraphs are well transitioned.  I believe that the paragraphs expressed how the writer was feeling and what happened that day of the tragedy.  Maybe explain how you felt and what you thought the moment you found out, like it wasn’t real to you or you dropped to your knees.  Just let the reader know the instant feeling you had, because reading it I couldn’t imagine…

7. Write a summary comment that explains what you like best about the paper.  Then, describe the two features of the paper that most need improvement.  What suggestion(s) for overcoming these problems do you have?

I liked how you talked about how every Sunday you went to church, but you took off and decided to go on the river.  I thought that was good to put in it gave the reader the idea you don’t go on the river much and was expecting a great day with friends.

 I think improving the introduction have a couple statements about summer fun and friends, then lead into what the main paper is going to be about. Other than that I believe it was good and has all main points and paragraphs flow.

Catfish in bathtub

May 18, 2011

“Catfish in the Bathtub” Response Questions

1.      How does Kingston use the five senses to create descriptive imagery? Give examples of her use of sounds, tastes, smells, sights, and feelings. Which do you believe are the most effective?

When reading this story, the description of the story was helping me imagine it in debt. The way she described the story and used the skunk and other animals to cook not only can you imagine the smell, but in the story what they had to smell.  The description gave it a real life description of what it was really like.  Examples in the story of sound is when her mother is explaining the monkey story, she took her hands away from her ears to hear the story.  When her mother was cooking they could hear the shells of the turtles hitting the pan when she was boiling them.  When the mother told them to eat, eat, eat, there was blood pudding on the table and the mother explains that if it taste good then it’s bad for you and if it tastes bad then it’s good for you.  They lived by this motto. The sights they had to see, the different animals in their house, the turtle in the pantry they would eat, the catfish in the bath tub they would eat.  Also, the skunk on the counter that her mother cut up to cook to eat.  The leftovers in the fridge that were five days old with a mass of brown stuff growing on the food, and eating old squid that is too old to eat.  They were given bags of candy to smell, but even the rubbery oder went through the candy bag and could still smell the skunk being cooked.  Also had plants that were tender and soft like flower pedals as well, they cooked these weeds and out them on their skin when they had bruises or sprains.   I believe the most effective of these senses are the smell, taste.  They had to smell it knowing wild rodents are cooked inside their house, also they had to eat it!  I believe that is probably the most effective within the story.

2.      Evaluate the use of dialogue (records of spoken words or conversation) in this essay? What effect does it have on your understanding of Kingston’s main point?

The use of the dialogue in this story is the mother explaining things to her kids.  When she is explaining the monkey story and how the rich people eat in China and they have monkey feasts.  Also when her mother talks about when things taste good, they are bad for you, and when things taste bad they are good for you.  I believe the effect this story has on Kingston’s point is the mother is cooking these animals, because she thinks they are good for them and that the rich eat monkeys.  So if she is cooking these animals she is doing the right thing, because the rich is eating monkeys so they must be good for you.  The point is, I believe she thinks she’s doing the right thing by cooking these animals and because they aren’t rich she believes must eat the leftovers and nothing should be wasted.

3.      Although other incidents or ideas are described rather briefly, Kingston devotes a full, detailed paragraph to a description of the monkey feast…why do you think she does this?

I believe she does this, because she is referring to the rich, and I believe her talking about the story and comparing it to what she is cooking for her family makes her feel like she is doing the right thing, also it gives her the chance to explain that even the rich eat monkeys and have a feast.

4.Throughout the essay, Kingston combines very realistic description (the bear’s claw, the turtles thudding against the pot, the monkey feast) with various similes and metaphors…what figures of speech (see description notes) does Kingston use in the essay?

Besides similes and metaphors I believe Kingston also uses objection description.  It focuses on the actual physical characteristics of an object such as the animals and the descriptions of the sounds and smells, rather than the person’s reactions to it.  It described more of the animals and sounds rather than focusing on the daughter for example getting sick when eating the food or smelling the smells.

5. “Catfish in the Bathtub” opens with a lengthy catalog of foods that Kingston’s mother

prepared,  yet ends with a very brief, simple statement. Why do you think she does this? How effective is this concluding strategy?

I believe it starts out strong so the reader can get a good description and know how the mother is and that she’s going to cook whatever rodent she can and that they are going to eat it and even it if five days later.  I think it starts strong to give the reader a vivid detail and ends on a short note, because the reader gets the idea that by the end of the story they would rather eat plastic then some leftovers with brown mass growing on it.

Cooking-up Ideas: W,W,W,W,W,H?

1.      Who are the cooks in your family? Do individual cooks have specialty dishes?

When we have family get-togethers my aunts are the cooks and usually the older cousins just bring a side dish.

2.      What are some of the dishes/meals they make? What are your favorites? Are there any you don’t like?

We always have some kind of meats, hamburgers hot dogs brauts, ham, turkey pulled pork ribs.  Side dishes we have relish tray chips, green beans, corn, pasta salad, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, cheesy potatoes, macaroni, deviled eggs,  pies, cake, cookies.  We have a huge family so lots of food is always there.  My favorite is cheesy potatoes and the desserts and my least favorite is sweet potatoes

3.      When are these items served: reunions, vacations, celebrations, parties, weekends?

These are usually served when we have a family reunions, also each holiday, or just a fall or spring cook out.

4.      Where do these get-togethers take place? Does the menu change according to the host or location?

Yes, each holiday or cook out we take turns a lot are at my parents house, and then also at my aunts houses.

5.      Why are these dishes so good or important to you? What memories do associate with these meals?

When my grandparents were living we would always go to their house every Sunday after church and have fried chicken with many of the sides I mentioned  it reminds me of my family.  For example, my aunt always makes deviled eggs and sweet potatoes and one of the gets spilled before she gets it to where it needs to be, it never fails!

6.      How are these items or meals prepared? How have your family get-togethers changed over the years? Are recipes passed from one generation to the next?

We either cook them at whatever house we are at or bring them from home.  Family get-togethers have changes a lot, we are getting older and the kids are growing up with their own families now, and since my grandparents have passed we don’t eat together after church every Sunday like we used to.

ESSAY

My family is very big on my mom’s side.  We have many cousins and a lot of little cousins as well.  We don’t really have a family food tree; the only thing I can think that has been passed down is my grandma’s homemade pecan pie.  When we have family get-togethers we usually just eat a country meal we don’t really have an ethnic or cultural linage. 

Every Sunday when we grandkids were younger we would go to my grandparent’s house after church and play outside and eat lunch.  We wouldn’t have a simple lunch it would be the whole deal, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, corn, rolls, and desserts.  This was our tradition up until my grandparents started getting sick and then passed away.  When my grandparents were still living and healthy, we would have all the holiday dinners at their house no questions about it.  They wanted the family there and they always wanted to host the get-togethers.  Every holiday we would go to their house and everyone would bring a side, and the aunts would make the big items at my grandparent’s house.  We would have mostly fried chicken, ham, or turkey.  Some of the sides consisted of mashed potatoes, corn, green beans, bakes beans, slaw, potato salad, regular green salad, sweet potatoes, relish tray to pick on before dinner was served, chips and dip, and many desserts as well.  There was always plenty and always leftovers to take home.

Times and things started changing we are getting older and my grandparents are passed away and traditions have changed.  We still get together, not every Sunday, but always for holidays. We take turns between my aunts who as the dinners for what holidays. If someone has a birthday we tend to go out to eat rather than have a cooked meal at someone’s house.  We still have get-togethers especially during the holidays.  When we do have get-togethers it is mostly around having lunch, and enjoying time together as a family.  I believe that my family has the same taste inheritance.  We always grew up around vegetables and not so much junk food and we are pretty healthy.  Now that we are growing older I believe our choices are healthier and wiser.  I believe that our tastes and choices my family makes are about the same as to what my parents and I choose.  For example, on my mom’s side they aren’t into eating salt and pepper as much as my dad’s side of the family.  That is definitely an inheritance for me; I am a salt and pepper lover.  My whole dad’s side is the same and I believe they picked this up from my grandparents and they picked it up by their parents and growing up on salt and pepper and raising your children on salt and pepper is something to easily get addicted to, especially if that is what your family is used to having.  I can remember and still do this to this day, when we get the first round of red tomatoes we would go pick them off the vine wash them off and sit on the back patio and eat them like an apple and pour salt on them.  We would also cut up a watermelon and eat it outside and pour the salt onto it.  Its habits and inheritance that we pick up from our family and they mold us to what we eat and how we eat, and what we like and dislike today.  Growing up I was always raised on vegetables and meats and eating those kinds of foods when I was younger. I grew up not being a picky eater and enjoying eating vegetables and being healthy and I believe it all started with the way my parents were raised, along with how their parents were raised.  Its passed down generation to generation and how and what you choose to eat.